Enter Mayhem

Well hell I've been away from blogging for so long, it's the tight schedule I guess. Yep Jai, I know what you're about to say..."Tight as a nun's ass!". Maybe...never felt one before:P

Right, since joining Leo Burnett/Arc Worldwide, I barely have any time for anything else that doesn't spell W-O-R-K. Thank God for the weekends, though, but as you might expect it's all reserved for rehearsals and gigs. So I basically haven't been getting any rest for the past month or so.

Anyway last weekend was Blood Legion's back-to-back gigs, at Paul's and at Giggers. Great shows guys, but I gotta admit we oughta put a cap on our drinking, actually MY drinking. On stage we were tight (AS A NUNS ASS!!!!) but the post-party got a little out of hand. Really sorry, boys. I swear it won't happen again. Anyway about the cap...can we be a little lenient on it? 1 can of beer the most? I promise I'll only touch the moonshine once we're done:D

The weekend was a good one 'cos 2 good things happened out of it. 1. We kicked major ass 2. we finally put our chicken sized brains together and said "that's it, we gotta record our material soon and it's gonna be on...".

So the dates were finally fixed! Alas our question of 'when to record' was finally answered, by ourselves that is. Anyway recording on the 13th and 14th seems like a swell idea. We'll have enough time to mix, finish the artwork and get it out before the As-Sahar gig. Well anyway, if you didn't know, As Sahar is a Singaporean/Malaysian Black Metal band which I've been following since I was a school kid. They went on a hiatus for a while and now they're back with a new album and a promo gig in KL on the 27th of December! So it would be the perfect place to distribute our demo knowing the fact that all the old school metalheads would be there to watch the gig. And of course, Blood Legion being an old school oriented band, we'd be glad to show them our stuff.

So the recording is two weeks away and I only have that much time to improvise on my bass lines AND finish off the lyrics to the 'Blood Legion' track (which till today, has got no lyrics, despite the fact that we've played it live couple of times. Thanks Shan, for being spontaneous on stage!).

Ah...I just can't wait to hit the studios! I'm nervous of course, but hey I can't be all the time or our songs will never see the light of day!

The Ultimate Idiot's Guide to Becoming a Tamil Movie Superstar

1. Grow a moustache
Being Indian, and a Tamil, you have to possess the ability to grow a moustache, the thicker the better. Seriously, it is mandatory. For some reasons, the moustache is the symbol of masculinity among the Tamil community and failing to grow or even having the ability to grow one is considered a dishonour to the community and race.

2. Go retro
Times have changed and so does fashion, but YOU will represent 1995. Wear a white t-shirt and a pair of old jeans. Top it off with a shirt on top, preferably bright coloured. Tie the end of both the sides of the shirt together to form a knot that sits just nicely over your belt. Wear white sneakers, preferably Reebok.

3. Practice your dance moves
Tamil movies have always been focused on the song scenes more than the plot, and 5 out of the 6 songs in a movie involves a lot of dancing, apart from running around coconut trees. To have an extra edge over other actors, choreograph a move of your own. If you're unable to dance or choreograph a move on your own, just hop around and flap your arms. All moves are welcomed.

4. Punch dialogues
Come up with creative lines to sound a little macho with the girls, and when being confronted by the state assemblyman's henchmen, use lines that would strike both fear and annoyance in them. Make sure that you use various intonations for each of the lines to express the message you are conveying.

5. Bloodshot eyes
When being confronted by thugs, the best way to strike fear in them is by using your eyes. Bloodshot eyes reflect the anger and annoyance in you and tells that you have no fear in taking them down. The best natural way to get your eyes reddened naturally is by drinking heavy doses of cheap liquor/moonshine.

6. Be vain about yourself
Very, very vain. Pretend that you are the most good looking hunk in your town even though the local bus conductor is better. Have a lot of confidence in your looks and body. Pretend that you're the guy all the girls in town are after desperately.

7. Get a motorcyle
Get a motorcycle to fulfill your loitering needs. Ride it around without your helmet to look extra macho. Make sure to stop by the women's college when classes end to catch the girls. Show off how loud and smoky your machine is.

8. Have a group of friends
Make sure your group of friends possess a collective IQ that is lower than yours. This will provide great comedy fillers and also boost your image as the only smart individual around.

9. Get an education
Even if you couldn't qualify for college, pretend to be a college goer by just hanging out at the campus with minimal amount of books in your hands. It would be best to join a government funded college to portray the image of yourself being from a middle/working class family, which would thicken the plot when you fall in love with a wealthy girl from a private college.

10. Come from a middle/working class family
For the reasons mentioned in the previous point. If you're from an upper class family, walk out on your folks and rent a cheap flat. If you're from a lower class family, walk out on your folks and get yourself adopted by a middle class family.

11. Fall in love with a wealthy girl
For the same reason as mentioned earlier. Do not bother falling for a girl from your same community or lower as it would just shorten the film to less than an hour. Remember, a thick plot is the key to a movie and it's actor/hero's success.

12. Ensure the ability to grow a beard
The moustache would do just fine, but make sure you're capable of growing a beard in case there are scenes that involve relationship/marriage breakups.

13. Have a 'style' of your own
Hand and leg movements are essential in making yourself look stylish. The audience are always up and ready for an actor who has style. Even if you have zero talent in acting, your stylish movements would round it up to a perfect ten. When making hand and leg gestures, make sure you a hire a sound effects specialist to standby nearby to provide the appropriate sound effects for your every move, even if you're just flashing the middle finger.

14. Pretend to be charitable
Visit your nearest beggar and give him a good hug and a donation. Arrange a caterer to provide food for the homeless and play with the kids at the orphanage even if you dislike children. Make sure the press are around to capture these moments, it will help boost your image.

15. Procrastinate your political direction
Even if you're not into politics or don't even know what politics is about, pretend to be actively making political remarks such as criticizing the government on their lack of initiative in helping the needy. Always include the needy in your topics to win the heart of the public. When questioned on your political stand or direction, tell them you're not interested in joining politics, you just want to help the people. You will be admired and worshiped like a God after that, with posters and effigies of yourself decorating the streets.

Once you have all these criterion, you are ready to make your debut in the Tamil cinema industry. If you abide by all the rules mentioned, your chances of becoming a superstar is surely guaranteed. Once you are a superstar, you will enjoy these perks:

1. Immortality
Even against a thousand men with machine guns, 95% of the bullets will miss you by inches and the remaining 5% that hit you aren't lethal enough to kill you. You will also have the ability to jump off the 10th level of a building and land safely at ground zero.

2. The ability to fly
A superstar is practically weightless and does not need a cape or a red underwear worn outside during fight scenes. A superstar can jump from one building to the other without much effort. No strings attached.

3. Instantly become a martial arts specialist
You may have got your bottom whooped in karate class during primary school but all that is history when you're a superstar. Be it Kung Fu, Karate, Judo, Taek-Wan Do, Silambam, Wushu or even Sumo, you are the Grand Master. You are a Jedi Master greater than Qui Gon Jinn because ol' Quiggy lost to Darth Maul and if you were to square off with Darth Maul, you will beat him because in Tamil cinema, only the good will prevail in the end.

4. Lawsuit free
When fighting, you will break lamps, set mills and cars on fire and even blow up the White House, but you won't have anything to worry because none of the owners will dare take up a lawsuit against you because of your status. They wouldn't even ask for compensation. They would gladly exhibit their damages and say "The Superstar was here and he broke this".

5. Babe magnet
You might have the face of an ape but you will have Aishwarya Rai on your heels. You are the greatest flirt there is, with every single girl going head over heels for you. But remember, you can only flirt, the sex only comes after marriage.

6. The bigger the better
As a superstar, there isn't much worry about maintaining your weight. The bigger you are, the better. Even at 175kg you will still be able to fly.

7. Your words are divine
Whatever you say, your words are considered biblical and will be followed by everyone. You are the Messiah with an underwear instead of a loincloth. Your 'punch dialogues' are so powerful your enemies lose half their strength with the urine they pass when they hear your words.

8. No offense with abuse of women
Whether you're a husband, boyfriend, fiance, brother or a son, hitting a woman only proves your masculinity and it is ensured that no lawsuits will follow.

9. Flawless
With all those Kalkis, Arasis, and Chittis (Tamil serials) portraying the women as a flawless race, the silver screen proves the opposite. The men, especially the superstar is always innocent and right and all relationship/marriage breakups are the faults of the women.

10. Best treatment for hair loss
As you age, you will be facing hair loss between the ranges of slightly and shiningly bald. You shouldn't be worried of this because as a superstar, you will be granted jet-black, stylish hair in a matter of moments.

11. Eternal youth
Even after 37 years in the industry, you do not have to worry of being offered fatherly roles because as a superstar, you will be automatically offered a role of a character within the age range of late teens to early thirties, alongside the heroine who happens to be your granddaughter.

Surprise!

There was this British guy who hired three people for his coal mine, an Indian, a Malay and a Chinese. He designated the three of them to three separate tasks: the Indian was to be in charge of logistics; coach and rails etc, the Malay was given the task to set up the lighting and the Chinese was to overlook the supplies.

After 2 months, the Brit came back to visit his coal mine and to inspect on whether his men had carried out their chores properly. He rode in a coach and he was pleased with it. He praised the Indian for his work. As he rode into the coal mine in the coach, he noticed that the mine was well lit, and gave the Malay a pat on the back. But as he was riding further inwards, he realised someone was mising, the Chinese. "Where is the Chinaman? He's supposed to be in charge of the supplies. How could he be absent?!" He asked furiously.

Suddenly, the Chinese popped from nowhere and yelled "SUPPLIES!!!"

This is an old joke I heard quite some time ago and I remember laughing really hard at it. But what made me laugh even harder was the fact that the person who told me this joke was my cousin Daren, who happens to be half Chinese. And the best part is, he was unable to pronounce the letter 'R' for the first few years of his childhood. So listening to such a joke from a person who experienced such a situation before just made matters worse, worse as in funny just got funnier.

Goodbye My Friend

Well Kirthi, my friend, it's been what? 8 years since we've known each other? Such a long time we've been mates and the fact that you're leaving just saddens me. What rips the jugular is the fact that you'll leave in the company of a few men in blue to spend your life in a cage. This, I never did expect for the very least.

Years ago, seeing two kids run down a street while kicking a ball around in what would have looked like a suicide attempt with all those cars and trucks passing by, I never knew I'd actually forge a friendship with you ever since.

What an innocent boy you were, barely knowing how to kick a ball properly. I still remember how you and your brother would fight for the ball and try to outwit each other. It was a circus of comedies in fact, you and your brother.

But as years passed by, we became friends, football buddies, teammates, beerheads and um...relations? The last one was a big suprise to me. 8 years of knowing each other and none of us knew we were related. And how does the relationship go? You're supposed to be my uncle? Damn it, you're 19 and I'm 24, I'm never gonna allow that to happen. Not when you're still a naive kid who can't really play well with his drinks. No siree.

And despite how busy we are, we'll always make time for the mamak, along with the rest of our famed club, Pukitiang FC. I guess that's what bonded all of us together, being Pukis. Or PuKiz is your paraiah manner. I'm sure the rest are gonna miss you dearly. Addy, Parivin, Cinaport, Ah Peng, Kenya, Sappi Sam, Sappi Dan, Hari and even your brother, silently. After all, you are our favourite striker and the only defender I could trust. You really meant a lot to Pukitiang. I'm sure the boys and me are gonna find a hard time finding a replacement for you, and waiting till you serve time in the can isn't really a practical thing as well.

We could say we practically grew up together, or for the later part of our teens for that matter. I know your story and you know mine, although there's much of us still yet to be told. But whatever it is, we've been great brothers all these years.

So whatever it is Kirthi, we will have you in our hearts. We're definitely looking forward to your return, hopefully sooner the better.

So long bro, be a good boy in jail. Stay away from the anal rapists.


In Loving Memory
Kirthi 'Koothi' Ganesh Paramanathan

Choices and Sacrifices

Life hasn't been treating me very well in recent weeks. It's not that I've been ridden with bad luck, but the fact that it involved one of the most important aspect of any ordinary person's life: Decision making.

And what leads to one coming to a point where he or she needs to make a decision? Choices. What really makes the decision process a really difficult or near impossible one is when the choices are too good to be true, often having catches here and there. And these catches needs the decision maker to make certain sacrifices in order to complement the decision. It's either you make the choice and lose a few things you love or the exact opposite, keep the few things you love and lose the choice. The bitter truth is, when you decide to lose either the love or choice, there's no turning back because opportunities only come once.

I've been facing some problems at work which has left me financially stricken and on the verge of a mental breakdown. The only way out is to get another job. I've landed many interviews and the big one was with The Malay Mail. A friend of mine recommended me to one of the editors and I was scheduled for an interview.

The Malay Mail. THE MALAY MAIL. Gosh! Now that's huge. I met the editor and chief editor, did a small test where I had to write an article on the betting phenomenon that has struck the Anwar sodomy case. Betting? I know nothing of the betting taking place involving this case! So I got to my usual self which is to bullshit my way through 8 paragraphs and surprisingly they enjoyed it. I drew a sigh of relief cos I actually expected the editor to throw his shoe at me instead of a compliment. The Editor In-Chief told me that there weren't any positions for writers at the moment but he would try to open up one for me. This is of course I met them thanks to a recommendation of a close friend of theirs.

I was excited at first, but as days turned to weeks, the excitement thinned to become something more of a worry. The Malay Mail as we know them, are an afternoon paper. They start operations in the afternoons and only end late at night. I was alright with all that. We had to work in shifts, I was fine with that also.

The Malay Mail was a good escape plan for me. But I knew I wouldn't like the job. Deep inside I knew something wasn't right. Something told me that if you take it, I'll have to give up something really dear. Something I helped build from scratch. BLOOD LEGION.

At the moment we're finding it hard to meet up and jam and a shift schedule would just add to further inactivity and I don't want the worst to happen, throwing in the towel. All of us agreed if we start this, we're not gonna end it, at least till one of us is dead.

So the time for me to make one of the most important decisions arrived, and I chose to stick with the band and turn Malay Mail down. It was a hard task to accomplish, especially telling the editors of my decision. It wasn't pretty in all. Had a few shellings here and there, but I'm cool.

Turning down the Mail offer was not merely a choice but I look at it as a sacrifice. Sacrificing a chance to be a part of one of the biggest, most controversial papers in the country, which many would regard as a respected achievement, only to be in the company of 3 other fellow brothers to continue something that has already started. Call me silly or whatever, but the band is one of the biggest priority to me. We may not be making any money or fame out of it, but it still keeps us going. Metal is more than music to us, it has become our faith. Something we believe in, something we'll defend till the end.

Doctor, doctor

After 3 weeks nursing a bad cough (which I thought was getting better much to the contrary of Jai and Shan's belief), it finally got worse. And to add the icing on the cake, I started having a mild sore throat and running nose. I knew where this was heading. Previous experiences have taught me dearly not to ignore it. It ALWAYS ends up with me running a high fever that can only be treated with a needle through the arm. Fuck. No way I'm gonna let that happen. So finally after weeks of having my ears bleed to my mum's nagging and my band mates' bitching, I finally paid the doctors a visit. A doctor, actually, and he's probably the least hairiest Bhaai I've met. Bald.

Baldy: So what's your problem?
Hairy: I've been having a bad cough for the past 2 weeks (BULLSHIT!!!) and it just got worst, plus I'm having a sore throat and a running nose.
Baldy: Are you feeling feverish?
Hairy: Well I was running a slight fever last night but it looks OK for now.
Baldy: Do you smoke?
Hairy: Heavily (and yes, this one liner was my real answer)
Baldy: There, THAT'S your problem.
Hairy: (As if I didn't know and needed a bald doctor to tell me about it) OK.
Baldy: I'm gonna put you on antibiotics and some phlegm pills and cough mixture, and you have to stop smoking for the next few days.
Hairy: Ok, I'll try my best.

After paying the bill I went back to the office and was about to get started with my medication, but wait....let me have my last stick first........








It's officially been 35 minutes since I had my last stick...

Eastern Metalfest II - 5th July 2008

Aight guys, finally after waiting for a long time, the flyers for our gig in July is out.


Date: 5th July 2008
Time: 4pm onwards
Venue: Paul's Place, Old Klang Road
Tix: RM 12

We'll be playing 5 songs including the new one, Pledge of Blood. It's gonna be a kick ass set list especially if you're into groovy Death Metal.

We'll be sharing the stage with some of our friends and also known names in the scene.
-Nuclear Strikes
-Dark Revo
-Daarchlea
-Black Territory
-As I End
-Black Abyss
-Caladrius
-Ensemble of Silence
-Anorexia

We have been working our asses off for this gig for the past one month, so I do hope you bastards drop by and show us some support. And we'll show you what headbangin' is all about:P METAL UP YOUR ARSES!!!

Upcoming gig, blistered fingers and a demo

On our upcoming gig
Well just a few weeks ago Blood Legion was confirmed to play at the Eastern Metal Fest II which will take place on the 5th of July 2008 at Paul's Place, Old Klang Road. The gig is organised by our good friend, Din of Dark Revo and we're all excited about it. Not only it's a gig, we'll be sharing the stage with some local big names as well. Of the confirmed bands are Antacid, Morggorm, Apphelion, Daarchelia, As I End, Dark Revo and a few more. I'm not exactly sure what time it starts but it should be in the afternoon, like most gigs. We're really looking forward to the gig and all of us are working our asses off for it. As for the set-list, well it's the usual PLUS a new song which was written by Jai.

On blistered fingers
Since we were confirmed for the Eastern Metal Fest II, we're dedicating the weekends of June to rehearsals, 8 hours each! We just kicked off the first set last weekend, and although we didn't complete the stipulated 8 hours, I was already feeling the pinch. It's been 2 weeks since we last jammed and during the first day of rehearsals on Saturday, my left thumb and right index was already blistered. And we've got 3 more weekends to go and I'm not sure why, I keep having reoccuring blisters especially on my left thumb despite practicing frequently. It's fine to have blisters if you've not played in a while and that was the case last week. But during our previous rehearsals for our previous gigs, I realised my blisters kept reoccuring despite frequent play. By right it shouldn't happen. It's nothing much to worry about but it does affect my playing especially my right index which is my most active picking finger. And the blistered thumb does make gripping the strings a hard task. Anyhow, I'm not gonna worry much about it but I just hope it doesn't annoy me during our set on the 5th.

Anyway, last weekend was Jai's composition's full debut. It's titled 'Pledge of Blood' and the brutality of the song fits the title. It's fast and catchy and most importantly, headbang friendly (especially the verse). Props to Jai, he's a great songwriter and I'm sure he's got more tricks up his sleeve for future material. At the moment, 'Pledge' is still wordless and we're leaving the lyrics under Shan's care. Being the vocalist, I think he would have a better idea on how the words are gonna fit in. On the other hand, I hope Jai writes the theme or some of the key words since he was the one who wrote the song. If you asked me, I'm clueless on what's it about.

On the demo
All of us at the Legion have agreed that a demo would do us some good promo. I came up with the idea a few weeks back as a sampler for supporters and organisers of our metal scene who wish to discover us. At the moment we don't have any recorded material for anyone to preview. We're glad that the crowd at our previous gigs (who were the first to hear and see us) liked what we played, and we would fare better if we had some recording distributed to the masses.

We're not confirmed on the recording dates and venues, but it's gonna be soon. Being a demo, we're gonna record as cheaply audible as possible considering the financial situation we're all stuck in at the moment. And the best part is, we're gonna distribute the demos for FREE!! We're gonna hand out copies of it during our upcoming gigs (note: I'm not sure if we will have it by the 5th of July), at stores and of course, on the internet for our foreign friends to download it. The set list shall be tight lipped at the moment, but it's gonna be 2 original compositions and 2 covers. Which ones are yours to find out.

Fear of becoming Chinese

Work starts at 9 am, but I'm always early, usually arriving at the office between 8.15-8.30 am. It takes a good 45 minutes to an hour till the next nerd walks in. Till then, I usually spend my time checking my emails and stuff. NERD HIT 1

Then there's lunch, which I normally have in the office. Everyone will just dump their work when it's lunch time while I rush to finish my work asap at that time. NERD HIT 2

Recently I've been hanging out with my friends at nights and more often than not, we're talking about gadgets like the latest handphones and stuff alike. NERD HIT 3

Weekends are spent playing Counter Strike with the boys from Pukitiang. Swearing at the top of your lungs in a crowded cyber cafe while screaming 'backdoor, backdoor la pundek!' is already music to our ears. NERD HIT 4

Working in Kelana Jaya, chink area, can't resist from checking the Chinese girls out. NERD HIT 5

I wear spectacles and have a big belly. NERD HIT 6 pwnage!

But apart from all these, I'm still a brownie to the bone:

1. I have facial hair
2. I have chest hair and also everywhere else
3. I drink heavily every weekend or anytime possible
4. I don't have DOTA Allstars on my PC
5. I don't have stupid hairstyles with highlighted hair
6. I am not metrosexual
7. I don't pose for pictures with a peace sign over my eyes
8. I don't wear pink
9. I still suck at math
10.I don't turn red after a can of beer
11.I don't get drunk after 2 cans of beer
12.I am still brown

12 against 6, ah, brownies win!

*If you are offended by this post, claiming racial harassment, I feel sorry for you. You surely don't have a good sense of humour. Or maybe you're just too Ah Beng/Ah Lian/Lala to think openly. Cheers!

Butt Massuese Needed

Ever since I started my job, which was about 3 months ago, I've never done much exercising. I leave home at 6.30am and I'm back by 9pm. By the time I come back, I'm too wasted to do anything healthy apart from eating and hitting the sack. The weekends ever since have been spent jamming with the band or attending weddings (that's a Ceylonese thing I guess). Once the weekend is done, it's back to work and the office isn't a great place to get fit, being in the company of chain smokers and big eaters.

Then finally last weekend, one of the few weekends I happen to be free (from work and jamming). Me and the boys of Pukitiang FC all suggested a game of futsal on Saturday evening. 3 months of getting fatter and sicker really made me look forward to the game.

So it was us Pukis (Adrian, Kirthi, Ram, Sam, Daniel and me) against Sathish's team comprising Sathish, his brother Suresh, Gurmit, Thina and Pravin. We had an extra player but none of minded it as it was just a friendly game.

Talking about being unfit, the first 10 minutes were painful. Shortness of breath and stiff calves are not good compatriots. And to make things worse, I had not clipped my toe nails for over 3 weeks and I was wearing a pair of shoes that was just fitting. The long nails made shooting nearly impossible and my decision of bending my toes to ease the pain caused by the nails resulted in blisters within half an hour. Ouch.

But after the painful 10 minutes, I was already used to the pace of the game. Being a born defender, that was the position I filled. Every now and then I'd go up and support but more often then not, we'd be caught off guard and if you were there you would have seen a fatty making a dash back to his goal every now and then. Good news is, I didn't hear of any tremors or quakes on the news after that. Phew!

We had a fair share of the ball and the goals as well. Although we had a man advantage, we fell short in teamwork and physical prowess. I was quite disappointed with my team because of that. Everyone wanted to show off, often resulting in everyone pushing forward, leaving our goal vulnerable even to the slightest attack from the opposition. We were punished a few times, in fact, many. Surprisingly, I was able to control my temper unlike previous times where episodes of screaming and swearing often took place in such situations. I was very annoyed at how, even having an extra player, we still conceded silly goals. And to insult us even further, each and every player on Satish's team were individually skillful and good, but they were a team anyhow. Try combining both of these attributes and you'll have your opponents just waiting for the final whistle in embarrassment. That's how they embarrassed us. Apart from that, even with a man down, they were physically bigger and stronger. Satish is 5'10, Gurmit is 6' and Suresh is 6'1". They are naturally skillful, powerful and rough at times. On the other hand, many of the Pukis are smaller and too afraid to challenge a ball from them. And no one besides me dared to challenge Suresh. He's a steamroller and his shots are always hard and fast. Many times I had to run back and and powershoulder him and block his shots. One of which was bullseyed straight to my foot which is giving my Archilles a problem now. And another pit bull charge from the other goal resulted in me twisting it while trying to push Sathish off balance. Got the ball anyway.

I quietly told everyone that if they're playing rough, it's only just for us to do the same. They kept arguing that it's only a friendly and it wasn't right to do so. What they don't understand is big people are naturally rough. Actually they aren't at ALL. They are so big that even how 'soft' they play, it's still rough on the others. The only way to counter that is by playing a little harsh as well. I on many occasions won the ball and made a few blocks on goal because of that. The rest were just twinning the opponent while the latter charged goalwards. They never learned and applied the art of the shoulder charge/barge.

And guys, there is a big hole on their tactics and I'm surprised how none of you saw it even after one and a half hours of playing. They always defend the wing, leaving the middle lightly guarded. I being the last man saw this so many times and seriously, it was easy penetrating it. But then again, we fell short on tactics. Whenever a player pushes forward from the back, an overlapping player has to fall back to maintain the balance. Haha! Knowing the poor dribbler I am, I kept losing the ball in front of Thina (their keeper) and when I turned back, none of us were there to guard our poor keeper.

Anyway, it was a fucking great game. Haven't sweat this much in over 3 months. We finally drew the game to save ourselves from any blushes. After the game, I was actually surprised at how I played. I expected to throw in the towel after half an hour, due to my fitness level, but miraculously, I pulled through till the final whistle.

Later that night, was our usual thanni session. All the Pukis with our bottles of Passport and beers, drinking away in front of some poor guy's house on a hill. What a good way to end a day. Although we felt the exhaustion from the game, we were still fresh, might have been the liquid motivation we had. Bottles finished, mamak, and straight to bed.

Then morning came. It was like a shove in the ass. Every limb was aching. My neck and shoulders were stiff and my legs were hurting a lot. The calves, thighs, hamstrings, right up to the ass. And my ankle was hurting so much, walking is hell for me now.

This is what you get when you're idle for 3 months and you try to be a hero and have a futsal game for 90 minutes. Anyhow, it feels good, the aches are slowly going away but it would need a whole week till it's all good. The ankle is my major worry now.

I've joined my brothers in Valhalla

Valhalla as in musical ecstasy.

My old phone, a Sony Ericsson K608i was a great phone. But it was limited in it's memory space, only a mere 30MB internal memory and it doesn't have a memory stick to enhance it. And being a music addict, it wasn't a great option as a music/mp3 player. The only songs I could insert were just my ringtones, message alert and alarm alert. Boring. And to top it off, my joystick was faulty, making it hard to navigate both right and down.

So it was time to make a decision.
1. Get an mp3 player, or
2. Get a better phone (with larger memory)

But then these two options also brought in a dilemma which procrastinated my decision making.

1. MP3 Player: I travel to work daily, and the journey involves passing some 'black' areas, notably Central Market. As it is, I'm always concerned with the things I carry, my wallet, phone and my laptop. An MP3 player would just add to more concerns and accommodate more of my pocket space.

2. A new phone would just invite prying eyes.

After much consideration, I opted for the latter. Sooner or later, I would need the extra space on my phone and it's just a matter of time till my joystick fails me for good.

So I started scouting around for phones that were reasonable in price and also fulfilled my lust for more music. Traveling 4 hours a day to and fro from work without any entertainment was already driving me up the wall. And being a Sony Ericsson user for 2 years, I was bent on getting something of the same brand.

I had my eyes on the K770i, which had a limited built in memory, but came with a 1GB stick, apart from being a CyberShot phone with 3.2MP. Interesting. A couple of friends of mine had one and after a few fondling sessions, I liked it a lot. So last weekend I went out to Terminal 1 in Seremban to start off my hunt. We surveyed the whole mall for some phones and there were some good deals. I had an RM 800 budget and my phone to trade in. Couple of my friends found some phones which were reasonably good, going for about 5-600 bucks. But what turned me off were the keypads which were either thin lines or small rounds (these were SE Cybershots as well but the models escape my mind).

Then we came across an SE shop which had a good variety of models, and pretty lenient in the pricings as well. I asked for the K770i and started interrogating about it. Thankfully the salesgirl was kind enough to answer all my queries. But after looking through the phone, I somehow felt it wasn't the right one for me, although I was bent on getting it for over a month. It was a Cybershot, yeah, but the MP3 player features were pretty limited, and sound wasn't as good as an SE Walkman series. The keypads also were a problem for me, too thin for my fat fingers.

The I came across another SE model, a W660i, a walkman model for a cheaper price, about 100 bucks lesser than the 770. So I tried it out, and damn, I was in love! I played Dethklok's Deththeme on it and it was fuckin A! Way clearer then my 608 and I could hear the details, just through the speakers! The cymbals and the bass pedals were already turning me on. I knew this was THE one.

So the price was RM 799. After much bargaining and teasing she was willing to let it for RM 720, along with the screen protector and a plastic casing. Great. Well within my tight budget. Then I asked her how much would she buy my 608 for, and talking about being cheap...a 100 bucks! What the hell?! But anyhow, I figured it was a good deal and walla! I grabbed the 660i.

Compared to the 770, it falls short in terms of camera functions; just a typical 2.0MP camera with no flash and lesser shutter frames. But in terms of audio superiority, the 770 is as good as being run over, crushed and grinded by the 660. That was enough to make me happier than a pig in shit (this line is seriously being overused).

So finally, I've joined my brothers, Jai and Shan in the SE Walkman gang. Who has the best is yet to be decided.

At the moment, my playlist contains:

1. Blind Guardian (my selection)
2. Dark Tranquility (my selection)
3. Ensiferum's Victory Songs
4. Kalmah's For the Revolution
5. Naglfar's Vittra
6. Opeth's Still Life

All very melodic songs, to nicely layan during my journey to work and back. I'm gonna add Maiden and others sometime tonight, but at the moment, I'm still getting a hard on with Ensiferum, in the office, during the journey and also back home.

At the moment, I'm still having difficulties typing and pressing the keys cos of the protective plastic casing. It's making the keys stiff and as much as I hate it, it's still a good protector for the phone. I spend up to 5 minutes at times typing (Shan you bear, I know you're laughin now and I've always been a slow typer, but you should see my SKILLZ on the PC! Blinding speed!)

RM 600 spent in a day, and I'm gonna be on bread on water from now on...for all the meals I'm paying for. Thank God it's the wedding season now for the Hindus. FREE FOOD!!!

Buttfucked in Bangkok and Operation Bass Rescue

Holy fuck! How long has it been? 2 weeks? Well even after everything settled there's still this slight disappointed feel I'm goin through at the moment. Anyway, fuck it.

Well Bangkok....what can I say? Beautiful place, for sure. Apart from the language barrier, it's just a cool place to spend a vacation. In fact I'm so in love with the place I'm saving up more cash to make another trip, hopefully end of this year, just in time for Thailand's biggest open air metal festival, the Demonic Festival.

Ok, let's start on a rundown of what happened.

We left on a Friday, arrived on a Friday bla bla bla, met the organiser (Annie, very nice girl with 28 tatts on her body), had dinner with her, Migo and me drank our livers off. Bedtime.

The next day, we went to Chatucak, a place where you can get clothes for dirt cheap. Really cheap. I finally managed to get the army pants I've been looking for, only RM 30! But then there were a few people (lets call them A and B) who took hours trying out shoes! At one store! What the hell? i could see Along getting bored and tired while Ajax was pretty restless as well. I tried hard not to reveal my frustration and I could see Migo just accompanying A and B for fucks sake. He was dead bored as well. I mean, we have a rehearsal session at one of the studios after this and we were already flat out! It took them hours more to go "oooh and aah" over pairs of shoes and they finally bought what they liked.

So later that evening, our organiser took us to this jam studio which we were really amazed of. It's pretty secluded, as in it sits behind some squatter looking houses and you need to tread through this creepy pathway to the studio. It's obviously a house converted into a studio with 3 studios if I'm not mistaken. We managed to book the best studio, and highlight the word BEST. Jesus christ, the amount of gear in that studio is probably equal to Maiden's recording session gear. Messaboogie STACK amps, Peavey amps, Leney bass amps and a lot more. The bass amp is as big as the amp in Bentley (Bkt Bintang) where you use to try out your basses. And there were so many guitar pedals! None of our studios here provide any! So we took 2 hours to fine tune our setlist and once that was over, the bill came. 360 baht! That's like RM 36 for 2hours, and guess what? That is THE most expensive in Bangkok! Holy shit! With that many gears and quality, it's still cheaper than any of our pariah studios over here. So after that we headed out to Immortal Bar to have a drink and meet the great Fa.

At the Immortal Bar, we were treated like VIPs thanks to the organisers. Fa met us upstairs and the first thing he asked us is "Do you guys drink whiskey?". He need not ask actually. So 1 bucket of whiskey arrived, and boy it was good. We had a long chat with Fa and he was asking about our scene and stuff. Great guy. Guess what? He gave us a 2nd bucket and Migo and I were happier than pigs in shit. Then A and B, who were obviously left out, told that they wanted to leave, and they didn't mind us staying back. Sensing the restlessness in them we decided to call it a day as well. But we felt that it would be odd just leaving after having free drinks. So we went to the counter where this nice sweet lady was (later we found out she's actually Fa's pregnant wife) and asked for a 3rd round. So, we finally saw how it was made. A few shots (more like half a bottle) of Whiskey Thai, a bottle of Red Bull and lime, and of course ice cubes. Then we took the bucket and forced Fa to share it with us. He was sharing with us the previous 2 buckets but called for a time out. Somehow we managed to force the godfather of Thai metal, and of course he's a nice guy and gave in.

Then came the third day, GIG DAY! We left pretty early and reached the venue at 11 for soundcheck. There was another band who was sound checkin and the drummer scared the shit out of us. His kicks and strokes were hard enough to shrink your balls and twist them. He was in fact the drummer of Breathless, Thailand's very own Agathodaimon. Corpse paint and leather, you name it.

I'm really not in a mood to write everything so I'll just cut it short. Throughout the gig Migo and me drank bottles after bottles of beer which were given to us courtesy of the organisers (this was a reason for the friction after this but I'm too lazy to mention it). We shared our beers with everyone we met, literally everyone. Migo and I were already flying sky high when our turn came. But nevertheless, we put up a good show. The videos proved it despite A and B claiming the opposite. The crowd loved us and sang along to our songs. I was totally out of my mind, jumping here and there, doing Abbath squats and even jumping into the crowd with my bass. After our set, jesus, I was hugged by people I've never met in my life!

Later we spent the night watching the other bands play, drinking more beer and some whiskey. Then came the time to bid our farewells and pack up. I was packing up with B and somehow she said something really vulgar which I never liked. But being the nice rational guy I am, I chose to ignore it.

Bla bla bla, bla bla bla, we arrived at our guest house in a taxi and as soon as I got out of mine, I saw a white elephant screaming and rolling on the ground while the black one was trying to defend her from any possible threat. We were the threat and the oversized elephants were...ermm you know...

I pulled Ajax back and while they continue to swear at us, and trust me, the words were not really nice. We kept quiet like civilesed men when the elephants ran amok. Next thing we knew, we saw them walking out of our guest house with their luggage. The four of us were really blur about what just happened and just sat down, watching them walk away. For some reason, i told the rest to stay while I run after them. So then I found them sitting down in front of the 7 Eleven, eating some bread and crying. A screamed at me and told me to fuck off but why should I? You're leaving us without giving any reason and you expect us to just sit and ponder about it? I told them I deserved an explanation and so that was what I got. These are the few things they said which pissed them off:

-we were pissed drunk and totally unprofessional on stage
-we were wild uncivilised men on stage
-we DEMANDED for beer during the gig
-we humiliated ourselves with our drunk performance
-ajax was rude
-Migo wasn't a professional band leader
-we only sold 3 CDs out of 10
-we were sucking up too much to Fa
-who the hell is Fa? He's no one in the scene
-we bored Fa and overstayed our visit, we should have left after the 1st bucket

So those were the reasons they gave. 90% of them were and still are childish. I still can't accept any of them as a reason to dump us behind without any money. But thank God, I had extra cash with me which was later spent to cover all of our asses.

So now back at the guest house, I told the boys what they told me, and we potted all our money. Ok, we do have enough to pull through for the next 3 days. But nevertheless, we lived like beggars. We spent the next few days eating cheap cup noodles and drinking tap water. 3 of the 4 of us smoke and we told ourselves that has to stop. The next day, barely 12 hours since our last stick, we knew we couldn't go on like this. So I walked to the 7 Eleven and asked the cashier for the cheapest cigarettes they have. An unknown brand for 380 baht. Ok that's cheap. Took the pack back and we all agreed that when want to smoke, we'll all share a stick. And true enough cheap cigarettes are really bad. All of us could only bear three puffs the most. So sharing was a good idea after all. And coming to Bangkok wanting to try all their good food, I knew that was just a dream. We didn't have any money to afford rice and I abstained from pork because of the cigarette sharing. Wasn't really a big problem.

So that evening, our 4th day in Bangkok, Annie came by and said she wanted to take us out to show us around. Now, no one told her bout what happened, and when she asked we just said A and B had an emergency and had to rush back. But she sensed something amiss and we were forced to spill the beans. Shocked she was, and she said a little sightseeing would do good. Well since I wanted to get some souvenirs I thought lets just finish off all the hunt today so we can spend the next 2 days staying in our room, to cut costs. She took us the Chaophraya river, and to some nice temples around there, where I got my pendant of Buddha. Then we went to some cultural center where finally, I got something for my house which would be proof that I have been to Bangkok. Then when we were about to laeve, Annie said she wants to take us to Y2J tattoo parlour in Silom Patpong. Reluctantly, we agreed.

At Y2J, we met the guys who run the place, who happen to be the guys from Breathless. Thon, the bassist, and one of Thailand's top tatt artist showed me all his vinyl collection. From Emperor to Burzum, he's the biggest black metal fan I've met! I also learned that he had traveled to France, Sweden and Norway to learn the art of tattoos. And while he was in Norway, he paid Varg Vikernes a visit in prison! Holy shit! Couple of hours later Annie called the organisers in along with the Breathless guys and told us to tell our story to them. So, another replay and all of them had their eyes bulging. Obviously they were annoyed at how our 'managers' acted and even offered to take us around Bangkok the next few days. We were really grateful but politely declined. Before we left, I was telling the boys, with the little money we have, let's pay Fa a visit at Immortal. I didn't want him to regard us as cheapskates , seeing him only to promote our band while drinking free whiskey. All of us agree unanimously and so we were at Kaosan Rd minutes later. We spent some hours talking to him and also to Bad from Zany Zone and ESP. Apparently Bad is a Hindu and ESP is his pagan Hindu Black Metal band. A very interesting guy. Religious as well. He's got so many religious pendants on his necklace and one of them is a wood carving of Buddha that is 400 years old. By the way, he's a composer with the Thai cultural exhibition, where he composes folk songs from Thailand's 4 different regions. And he's a big fan of Paganini. That's totally metal!

Then Migo dropped a bomb on my head. Fa had been impressed by how we played through word from some of his friends (he has spies, I say!) and offered us a slot the next day, at a freaking 1 am! At Immortal Bar?! Holy shit...the Mecca of South East Asian Metal!

We agreed to the offer but we knew we will be in some trouble. At Nakhon we played 6 songs where the first two were played on A's Dime Slime with a standard E tuning. The other 4 were played on Migo's which was dropped D.

The next day when we arrived at Immortal, I was embarrassingly shocked! I though Fa just invited us to play for fucks but that guy is a maniac! He printed out fliers that read "IMMORTAL BAR PRESENTS BANNBODO: Thrash Metal from Malaysia, Tonight 1 am". And the fliers were pasted on the walls and spread througout Kaosan Rd. I immediately pulled Migo aside and told him that playing 4 songs wouldn't be a good idea. And true enough, Fa approached Migo later and asked Migo if we were able to play 6 songs instead of 4. I was already in a bad mood thanks to the bass which was fucked up and to add to my frustration, the last 50 ringgit I had couldn't be exhanged into Baht because the banks only accepted RM 50 notes, minimum. I had my 50 in tens. Fortunately a currency exchanger at the ground floor was able to change my tens. Oh and no, money changers in Bangkok are NOT mamaks. They were Thai.

So we decided to play 2 songs twice, to make up the number 6. While waiting for our set, we watched the in house band play. Really kick ass! They could really cover RHCP note for note, from the bass to the vocals. And Fa featured for them for Enter Sandman. He's a really good vocalist. While watching the band play, we had side entertainment as well. 2 white chics were making out throughout the set and boy, they were really steamy. On the bar table, against the wall...crap, Along's eyes were glued! Then of course came the oral and everyone had their eyes on the girls instead of the band.

Then came our turn. I wasn't actually satisfied with how I fared, considering the condition of the guitar itself. It was never in tune despite how many times you tune it. And to top it all, it was louder than Migo's guitar's! So it was a bass and drum attack! Hahaa! The crowd, made up of all white people, really had a good time. Everyone knew the covers we played and sang along to it. After our set, we were treated by Fa to a bucket of whiskey, each!! I had a good time apart from the bass fuck up.

The next day, which was our last day was a day we've been looking forward to. With our cash drying up, we were grateful we survived this far. Annie came along with Te and Tic and an orgy of photoshoots to place. Annie, always in her cheery mood kept picking on Along since day 1, made it worst this time. Talk about seeing a guy blush! Lol!

We took the cab to Suvarnhabhumi Airport and we were glad the little money we had was enough to pay up the cab. We checked in and then we knew, we were safe. We met those two soon after that but didn't bother in striking a conversation right until we reached LLCT. At LCCT B called me up and told that we have to pay up the full amount of the expenditures that they had incurred throughout our journey. Originally I was only supposed to pay half of the ticket price, which would have amounted to some 250 something riggit. Now they said that I have to pay the full amount and also other expenses. I saw the amount and nearly had a heart attack. RM 918 and a few cents! I was like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and asked why am I being charged this much. They said it was the overall expenses etc and the rest would be charged the same.

I was quite annoyed at this. As it is, my bass is stuck in their studio and now I have to get her back AND pay nearly a thousand bucks! This is all too silly.

And to top the icing on a very bad cake, I was broke. I went to Bangkok with over 800 bucks and only came back with 21. I needed help. And my folks shouldn't know about this.

So I contacted Dave and explained to him everything. Thank God he's nice enough to loan me some cash to pay those idiots. They mentioned that I can pay in installments (which I could pay up without the extra help) but after all that has happened, I told myself it's best this is done with ASAP. Then I got in touch with my partners in crime on stage and in the pubs, we were set for OPERATION BASS RESCUE.

After 1 and a half weeks since we were back, OBR took place. We had Jai, Shan, Wan and myself. All of them have heard my side of the story and also badly salted ones from others. So, word has spread. And it wasn't me cos only 4 people besides the band know what happened, Dave, Jai, Shan and my brother Hari. And all the other versions point the rifles at us, the band, so I reckon A and B had gone on some promotional stint after our return.

We met them at their studio, and boy, they seemed happy to see us. We talked about stuff not related to the Bangkok Buttfuck but when I saw we were just wasting time and asked about my share of payments, they moods turned 180 degrees. Then Shan asked the smartest question any circus bear had asked in the history of circus freakshows. "What actually happened?" So they spilled everything out. Their version was very accurate, but I realised they overacted on certain parts and of course, they covered up their mistakes. I was quiet all the while cos it was pointless arguing back. I just wanted to end this. Then the bill came. But before they mentioned the figure, I told them I wanted a clear statement of all the expenses. I wanted to know why I'm charged ridiculously. As usual, they repeated everything and then I butted them and by saying that all the expenses in Bangkok, I paid for it whenever it concerned me. The taxis I rode in, Migo and I chipped in. You should have seen the looks on their faces. But they were nice enough to agree with me and also cut the ticket price by half, as per the agreement with Migo. And after all the money paid, and receipt collected (which I insisted on during the short meet at LCCT). And it was time to leave, and finally with my baby, my bass. AT LAST!

From there, we drove to the studio and we jammed for 2 hours. Damn, I haven't played my bass in over a month and I missed her so much. The bass I had in Bangkok was just something I couldn't grasp, and it is the main reason why I didn't play well at Immortal. But now finally, thanks to Dave, Jai, Shan and Wan, she's back!! One of the happiest days of my life, for sure!

But thinking back on what happened, I personally feel it was all too silly. If they were mad at us, they could have talked to us, like adults. Instead, they put up a Discovery Channel reenactment on the streets of Bangkok with every passer by staring at us. But whatever that is done, is done. History. I'm just happy I'm off their books and I hope the rest of BannBodo are too, as soon as possible. What happened in Bangkok was a true display of unprofessional business ethics and immaturity.

Before we left their studio, we exchanged apologies, but I seriously considered mine was totally unnecessary. But like we've heard for so many ages, it's easy to forgive, bot not to forget. It's something I'll remember for a very long time. I'll just consider it a lesson I've learned in life.

Operation Bass Rescue

You know, I just came back from Bangkok like a week ago, to say I had a good time, I really did, and to say if I had a bad time...hell I did.

GOOD TIMES
Arriving in Bangkok, shopping at Chatuchak where I finally got my army pants I've been searching high and low over here, hanging out with Fa and the boys at Immortal Bar and of cos, bussines...playing at Nakhon and Immortal.

BAD TIMES
Getting dumped by our manager for no apparent reason, without any money to survive with, eating cup noodles, drinking tap water, and later being demanded to pay up the management company for all they've spent on us. Oh, and what I'm really sad about, my bass is still stuck with the manager.

Damn, can't think right at the moment. So many things running through my mind, so many questions I want to ask. But it all boils down to this Saturday, Operation Bass Rescue.

I know you guys want a full frontal on what happened in Bangkok, both the good and bad times. Let Operation Bass Rescue (OBR) take place first, and then I'll have a relaxed mind to tell you guys. A relaxed mind? Hopefully.

Great Idiots

The Master


The Apprentice

If you wanted to lose, you could have at least done it like a real man. Go down fighting.

Liverpool displayed a performance so cantankerous no fan could fathom. A Champions League semi-final always produced exciting games, regardless who's playing. But this wasn't the case for last night's match between Chelsea and Liverpool.

The game started off really boring, with Chelsea having the upper hand in ball possession and build-up play. Liverpool on the other hand were constantly kept at bay despite possessing one of Europe's top marksman.

An underfed striker, a dysfunctional midfield and a battered defence provided an impotent lineup which their goalkeeper fell victim to on three occasions.

Even before the match when the lineup was announced I knew it was going to be a waste of time watching the match. You're trailing by half a goal from the previous leg and you still insist on fronting the attack with only one striker. Crouch who displayed beautiful football (for an Englishman) in his previous match was left to warm the bench.

Yes, at first I wanted to blame the pitch, but it would be silly. It's a fact that Chelsea despite being one of the richest clubs are cheap in maintaining their pitch. The rain just worsened things. But then please tell me how could Chelsea still put a good show despite all of this shortcomings? Home support? They're well adapted to their field even how crappy it is? Maybe. But still, Liverpool aren't a Derby County to have minor glitches hampering their football.

Benitez, for some idiotic reason decided to do a Mourinho by talking crap about Chelsea and their players. Well he was forced to eat his own words when the player he criticized opened the scoring. Didier Drogba. Drogba has proven himself worthy countless times by scoring amazing goals for Chelsea for the past few seasons. How could anyone be so absurd by saying he (Drogba) is just mediocre? You yourself possess top strikers who can't properly finish a simple ball and you dare say such things. I know about the mind games gaffers play to have an edge over the other team, but for God's sake! This is Chelsea, at a Champions League SEMIFINAL!!! Your criticism is motivation to the counterpart. Deco, Messi and Ronanldinho made fools of themselves by giving a press statement that they're gonna tear United apart. Not even close. It should have been a lesson for Benitez to shut his mouth from the start.

Of the many Liverpudlians who have done so well this whole season, a number of them were awfully disappointing last night. Alonso was useless throughout the game and Lucas would have been a great replacement. Mascherano has been quiet since he talked his way to a red card against United in the league and Gerrard, it's time you gave up the skippers arm band, till you prove yourself worthy of even wearing one. You dishonoured captaincy by keeping quiet against Masherano's sending off (against United) and you just gave the game away last night. Where was the ever so robust Gerrard? Where were the tackles we all loved to see? Where was the fighting spirit that made your name? Having a yellow card from the first leg doesn't entitle you to be an asshole by playing safe in the second. A leader should go all out even if it means he's not able to carry the flag in the next battle. He should be willing enough to take a shot for his team to come out tops. In the 1999 semifinal against Juventus, Roy Keane was already on a yellow card from the first leg. But he battled out to hold his team together, earning him a yellow card in the process. That yellow card barred him from playing in the final if United were to win the bout. He never bothered playing safe just so that he could take part in the final. He, like many great leaders, wasn't selfish. Gerrard on the other hand, showed every reason why he should be stripped off the skipper's post. He was selfish. Go all out, get banned, but rejoice in the fact that you sacrificed yourself for your mates to pull through. Till today, I'm not really bothered about who scored against Munich, bringing the title back to Manchester after 31 years, but my respect is (and forever will be) for the man who got them to the finals.

Liverpool were lucky to draw the game level with Torres's goal. But they shouldn't have stopped there. Instead they decreased their determination to stretch the match to extra time. How smart. Saw what happened? I don't blame Hyypia for the penalty, never will. He's been one of my favourite players and skipper Liverpool has had for the past 10 years. It was an unintentional foul. Ballack had already dribbled past him and had two options, pass the ball out of the D box, or cut to his right where only Reina is at his mercy. And like any great defender (Moore, Adams, Lee), a pre-emptive strike always helps. But unfortunately Hyypia was plain unlucky.

With just one goal down, Liverpool were still in the game if they had at least tried to push on. But NOOOOOOOOO, they decided to spread wide like a whore selling herself. 3-1. What surprised me after that is the substitution of Torres for Babbel. WOW!! They only guy who can possibly score against Chelsea and you took him off. WHAT?! For what?! Babbel's inclusion proved fruitful but a little too late. Pennants introduction late in the game would have paid IF only Crouch was there. So many long balls, so many crosses, but who's there to finish it? Or at least try?

I've mentioned this to my friends before, that I'll only don a Liverpool jersey to a match only if they manage to beat one of the big four in a season. But from yesterday's display of tactical stupidity, miscalculation and selfishness, I'm only gonna start wearing my jersey (for a match) when the Reds finally lift the League trophy. It has been nearly 20 years since they last did it and with the mentality they have (who cares about physical ability) at the moment, it's gonna take them another good 20.

Scholes for Prime Minister!

I missed the showdown last night thanks to the fact that I have to be up early for work. Missed the match, but thanks to footytube.com, I'm guaranteed of not missing any highlights with footages uploaded as early as two hours after the match. Footytube owns over youtube when it comes to football highlights!

From the highlights it's obvious I was an idiot to miss such a thrilling match. I support neither team, but I'm always up for a good high spirited match. Barca was the better team, but United's defence were as solid as the rocks that built the Alcatraz. Even when it was penetrated, Warden Van der Sar was always there to deny Barca a goal. He has proven that his presence is a major stronghold in United's strength. They do have a potent strike force with Ronaldo and Nani, a solid midfield comprising Scholes and Park and a crushing defence with error prone Ferdinand and Brown, but it's Van der Sar who keeps saving their asses most of the time. For a guy who is a beanstalk for a goalie, he's capable of making impossible saves, even the low balls (which is every 'big' keeper's nightmare).

Scholes once again (and most of the time) proved why Man Utd still need their oldies. Yeah, everyone else is scoring goals, getting points for the team, but they aren't crucial enough. How many times have you seen the youngsters squander a chance that could win them a match? Countless. But that's where Man Utd stand above the other teams. Their veterans are still venomous despite age sucking out their pace and agility. Nevertheless they are still competent. Giggs can still run sixes and sevens around world class defenders while Ronaldo messes up his step-overs against a relegation destined defender. And last night's performance from Scholes was just simply fabulous. The goal was unstoppable but what was amazing was his technique in taking the shot, something he's an expert at for the past 13 years (maybe more).

So Man Utd will be in Moscow three weeks from now, against who? I really hope Liverpool buck up their game against Chelsea. Chelsea are a desperate team at the moment. Grant wants to prove he's as capable as Mourinho in winning the league and he wants to be better, by winning the Champions League. Liverpool have only the Champions League to play for since they're fourth place in the league is more than just guaranteed.

Thank God it's Labour day tomorrow! A day off, and a perfect day to recover from a footy hangover (regardless who wins it).

BEHEMOTH: At the Left Hand ov God video

Finally, after much anticipation, the video is already up on youtube. MTV has been strict on the release of this video by deleting one of the uploaded ones from youtube. However, if you search properly, you'll realise they missed this one.

The video fits the band name, no doubts about that. Production quality is top notch. Best metal video.Period.

BEHEMOTH: At the Left Hand ov God video posted online

But unfortunately it can't be viewed by viewers outside the U.S. So I wouldn't bother putting up the blabbermouth link. Total bollocks! Why the hell would they restrict viewing to non Americans? I've checked youtube and even Behemoth's official website but it's just a waste of time. I guess we just have to wait. How long? Beats me. But with the invention of youtube, it shouldn't take long.

My take on Behemoth? Best band at the moment. Period. They've evolved a lot through the years, from a typical noise-invaded Black Metal to a very polished Blackened Death Metal band. And the catalyst of this evolution is no other that the grinder himself, Inferno. Since his inception in 1997 (for the Pandemonic Incantations album), Behemoth took music extremity to a higher level. Blasts beats have never sounded so (erotically?) good since his coming.

My first Behemoth experience was in 1999 when a friend of mine passed me a 'Pandemonic Incantation' cassette. I've not heard of Behemoth prior to that and I was inquisitive on how Black Metal sounded. I already had a few Rotting Christ albums back then and it scared the shit out of me. But from what I heard, Behemoth played a more extreme version of Black Metal ala Scandinavian style, which slightly differed from Rotting Christ's (creepy) melodic style.

My first listen made me remove the cassette from the player and chuck it into the unknown (that's exactly under my bed). It was something I couldn't swallow. Very messy guitars, drums and a crapfest of a production value made that album inaudible. I've kept away from Behemoth ever since thinking they're just one of those noisy bands until the year 2004. Behemoth released 'Demigod' back then and frankly I was skeptical about listening to it after the horror show 5 years before. But by 2004 I was already into Black Metal and the messy sounds/production had already become something I was used to and enjoyed. I like my coffee black and without sugar, and the same for Black Metal. But of course, I still can't digest Mayhem's 'Pure Fucking Armageddon' till today. Rotten (coffee) beans from the start.

'Demigod' blew me away and gave me an erection at the same time. They've switched their direction and they're probably one of the few bands to successfully do it. Dutch blasphemers God Dethroned were one of the pioneers of this new sub-genre but they still sound more Death Metal than Black. Many Black Metal bands have experimented with Death Metal influences including Marduk and Gorgoroth on their 'World Funeral' and 'Ad Majorem Sathannas Gloriam' respectively. So it's no wonder why a very young band (remember, Behemoth recorded their demo when Nergal was 15, by 19 he recorded their first full length 'Sventevith' and was a superstar by then) like Behemoth decided to change their direction. Behemoth injected a new kick with their heavy guitars coupled with Eastern melodies. Only then I learned that they had already adopted this direction since the 'Satanica' album which I missed. With this new sound, Behemoth have rebranded themselves with an image of intellectual rebels. Drawing influences from eastern myths, legends and beliefs (which they were already experimenting since the early Black Metal years) their new sound gives these influences a more profound presence.

'The Apostasy' is their latest release (2007) and it is concrete proof that they have grown stronger since the previous album. From the intro Rome 64 C.E. to the last track, Christgrinding Avenue, it boasts an album that is flawless by my ears. All songs are equally good, which gives me a hard time to even pick the best three tracks. And as I mentioned earlier, it reasons out my point in claiming them as the best band at the moment, regardless of genres.

I'm really looking forward to watching the video, cos the 'making of' and the trailer have already got me drooling.

The making of 'The Left hand of god'


The trailer

We took a tumble, but we came out unscratched

It's the 18th of April now. Our second gig is just tomorrow and we haven't practiced for over two weeks. But still at 10pm we walked into the studio to sharpen whatever that is still blunt. It's gonna be 4 long hours of intense rehearsals till we rip it apart tomorrow. As every round of our set-list were played, we just got better and better. But despite that we knew we need another round for fine tuning. Those 'another' rounds ended up being God-knows-how-many-rounds till Dave told that we've reached the end of our session. And so everyone packed, but I still felt one more round would do good. But nevermind, it's good to go anyway.

So then came the 19th, the day we've been anticipating. Not only it was our second gig, it was a gig where we would be sharing the stage with two bands who are our close acquaintances. Cul De Sec, comprising of our good stoner friends Zul, and Akie, and Dark Revo, who are the people we still thank till today for giving us our debut.

They skies threatened menacingly. Well it fucking did in the end. The rain poured heavily without pity, postponing the start of the gig till an hour later. We were scheduled to be the sixth band, right after Furion Escalada.

Well before I go further let me remind you that this blog reflects my personal views and I won't give pittance in order to keep relationships in good terms.

From the start we knew it was a metalcore gig. Out of 8 bands performing, 5 of them were metalcore. Now, to get fists clenched, I'm not a fan of metalcore at all. But I admit, I was impressed by performances by Deumuseth, Oracle and Furion.

Deumuseth had a certain kick in their music which outshone the other bands that played before them. They were a band who are musically tight and reveled in the individual skills the members possessed. From the growls, to the finger taps and bass kicks. Talented people. Oracle on the other hand proved every reason why the show must go on. They were very professional on stage, apologizing that two of the members couldn't make it. But they were also unprofessional in another way. Nobody blames his teammate for fuck-ups in public. Riise scored an own goal yesterday, Benitez didn't blame him in public. Maybe the vocalist was trying to be cheery and humourous, but I personally feel that isn't how it's done. Apart from that, they rocked. A three piece band without their bassist and second guitarist, they gave us a hell of a show. Furion Escalada proved why they're the top metalcore band in the country. If you want perfection, drop by their next gig. Words escape me, they're fuckin good is all I can say.

Cul De Sec (Zul's band) was the third band to play. And being very close friends we made our attendance by standing right in front to cheer them. This is where I got quite annoyed. Cul De Sec is a grunge band and they came up with a set-list of Nirvana covers. I was a Nirvana fan in my teens, and I still have a soft spot for them. Other's might not enjoy them as much, and probably dislike the presence of a grunge band at a metal gig. That's fine, but at the end of the day we're all trying to do something we love. From being fans of such music to putting our love to practice, on our gears at gigs. And all we need is support, nothing more. I don't like metalcore but I still cheered for the bands that played. But our friends in Cul De Sec got nothing more than our screams at the front. Everyone else seemed to dislike the band and didn't even bother to give a round of applause after each song. So now you're saying that Cul De Sec don't fit in? They're not heavy enough? Not brutal enough? Well maybe you guys should take a look at yourself. Metalcore is pure faggot wankery for people who think playin heavy is cool. It's the scum of the metal scene. At proper metal gigs metalcore bands get the middle finger and nothing more. But here, all of us are struggling. And that's why we tolerate pussy metal cos we don't want you guys to go back home running and venting your anger by doing ape walks and karate chops. Cos if you guys hurt yourself, who are we to laugh at in the future?

But hats off to the frontman of Deumuseth. I saw him cheering with us during Cul De Sec's set and he actually paid tribute to them by calling Zul the Malaysian Cobain. A noble act, and I salute him for that.

Apart from all this, there was still one thing that was bugging us. The organizer seemed to be very fickle minded and kept switching our turn. And to piss us off even more, we learned of our turns from the other bands, not him! That is totally silly and unprofessional if you ask me. You're the organizer, you set the schedule. If someone asks for a switch, it's YOUR duty to consult the band who's gonna be switched. If they disagree, you can not say anything. We heard that many bands wanted to leave after their set and we were NICE enough to take sixth. And while the second band is playing someone informs us we're up next (third). Jesus motherfuckin Christ! Is this how gigs are organized here? We've been to tonnes of TRUE metal gigs and played our only gig before this, but we've never seen such irresponsibility. Maybe we are a new band but it doesn't mean that newbies are free to be pushed around. Anyway we were promised sixth place but ended up playing seventh, before an unfortunate Dark Revo to close it. To be frank, Dark Revo was the best band that day, but just unlucky to have the crowd. Maybe they (the crowd) left in fear of being humiliated by the mesmerizing skills these people have.

We played our best, no doubts bout that. But deep down, I wasn't satisfied. We could have done better if the PA system were in proper condition. We hit a snitch with our first song due to inability to hear ourselves and the mates! So we had to be contempt with playing according to the rehearsed speed and timing. Easy? NOT! I made mistakes, Jai made mistakes, Wan made mistakes, Shan made mistakes! It's not that we're not good enough, hell we knew the songs inside out, like the back of our hands! But despite the glitches, we still charged like Spartans against the Persians. And the few people who remained to watch us, we knew they were feeling the heat. I still remember when we grinded the last song, Dev and Nookie of Furion were trying to rip heads off. Their presence meant a lot to us.

I really wanna thank all those who stayed back to catch us. Migo, Amir, the Furion guys, Shino, Aireen, and our loyal roadies Vishnu and Dinesh. I'm sorry guys, that things didn't turn out well. You guys took the trouble to travel only to be treated to rubbish from the start. But I'm sure you guys enjoyed Dark Revo. Who wouldn't?

On the whole, it wasn't a great a gig for us. We could have scared the shit out of people if everything was managed well. Too bad it didn't. We were left frustrated and depressed especially me. But I thought to myself it was pointless. We saw it coming when we learned that the gig was gonna be a METAL(core)fest. But whatever gig it is, we will give our best, just like last weekend. Even if it is an emo gig, we'll make those bastards tear blood and scream in fear!

I guess Blood Legion was like Humpty Dumpty last week. We fell down (or rather pushed down) hard, but we didn't break our shell. And even if we did, we'd have the king (Dave) and his men (roadies) to help us put ourselves together back again.

Deal of the Month

EMPEROR - Scattered Ashes: A Decade of Emperial Wrath

So I was back home in my hometown last weekend when I decided to stop by Aunty's Shop (Swee Suat Music, Terminal One). I loathed the idea of stepping into Terminal One since it's been a hotspot for immigrants and village brutes. No offense meant but these people piss me off and I've made very few visits to this mall ever since I joined college. But anyhow, I was quite intrigued by what Mrs Lim (aunty) had on sale at that moment. For your information, she was my main supplier of records ever since school days. Being neighbours in the neighbourhood, she made it a point to update me of the latest releases that just arrived. So we go a long way back, ten years, I think. And the best part is, I always get discounts when others pay full for any of their purchases. Although I buy most of my stuff around KL now, I still make it a point to drop by her place whenever I'm back.

Which brings me to my latest purchase, believe it or not, an Emperor Best of compilation, imported on top of that. The price? A slashed RM 29.90. I got it cheaper but hell no I'm not tellin you guys how much I got it for.

Let's start of with 'WHO is Emperor?' For a start, they were the pioneers of the second wave of Black Metal that kicked off in Norway and her Scandinavian neighbours. This new wave of satanic anthems differs from it's predecessor (typical heavy metal with anti-christian/satanic lyrics ie Mercyful Fate, Satan etc) in terms of song structure. The second wave took a more extreme outlook started off by Death Metal pioneers Possessed, with heavy blast beats, tremolo picking and raspy/screeching/inhuman vocals. With that template, dozens of bands pioneered the movement among those, Emperor, Darkthrone, Satyricon and Mayhem. Dimmu Borgir and Covenant came a few years later but they were already branded the third wave, Melodic Black Metal. Till today the debate on who's the best Black Metal band still continues. Many opt for Mayhem. Some have their bets on Dimmu Borgir since they've risen to become one of the most successful Black Metal bands known in the scene. But what is my opinion? Take a wild guess.

Emperor wins in many ways. But I'll just focus on one, which is the reason why they are my favourite, and the best. Song structure. Take any Emperor song and you'll see that they are pretty diverse. Not one of them are the same. Tremolo picking bands tend to bore me but Emperor doesn't. They were one of the few who tremolo picked melodies which later became a template for the melodic bands like Dimmu and also inspired the Swedish Black Metal scene. The Swedish guys played Black Metal with melodies but without keyboards, that's the difference. A little bit of Dark Funeral and Dissection should enlighten you.

Emperor's songs differed from the rest of the scene. Most of them back then had very simple song sructures, Intro-verse-chorus-verse-chorus. Emperor pushed the limits to become (in my opinion) the FIRST Progressive Black Metal band. They have extended song structures, defying the norm that was being followed by the rest. Most of their songs boast non-repetitive riffs, PROPER solos and slow parts, making them stand out from the rest of the bands who were in the scene. They also have simple structured songs as well, like Inno a Satanna, for those who prefer a more straight-forward approach in song listening (boring!). As years went by Ihsan (vocals) experimented his on his vocals which gave the songs more width.

This CD, released in 2003, boasts all the masterpieces they've carved throughout their reign as emperor.. I really disagree with anyone who thinks the play/played second fiddle to any other band. Emperor were and still is the Iron Maiden of Black Metal. And it was an honour for the many bands who opened for them during their reign. Among which was a very young, little known English band called Cradle of Filth, back in '94. After the opening, the rest was history. Everyone knows what dizzying heights they've (CoF) achieved since.

Track list
Disc 1
1.Curse You All Men! 04:41
2.The Tongue of Fire 07:11
3.The Majesty of the Nightsky 04:48
4.Cosmic Keys to My Creations and Times 06:21
5.Wrath of the Tyrant 04:13
6.The Loss and Curse of Reverence 06:10
7.An Elegy of Icaros 06:39
8.I Am the Black Wizards 06:01
9.Thus Spake the Nightspirit (Live) 04:20
10.Ye Entrancemperium 05:14
11.In the Wordless Chamber 05:13
12.With Strength I Burn 08:13
13.Inno a Satana 04:51

Disc 2
1.A Fine Day to Die (Bathory cover) 08:26
2.Ærie Descent (Thorns cover) 05:59
3.Cromlech (Darkthrone cover) 04:14
4.Gypsy (Mercyful Fate cover) 02:55
5.Funeral Fog (Mayhem cover) 05:12
6.I Am 05:06
7.Sworn (Ulver Remix) 05:40
8.Lord of the Storms 02:08
9.My Empire's Doom 04:31
10.Moon Over Kara-Shehr (Rehearsal) 05:11
11.The Ancient Queen 03:41
12.Witches Sabbath 05:57
13.In Longing Spirit 05:56
14.Opus a Satana 04:19

Total playing time 02:23:10
The cover art is an illustration by Dor鮍

Includes two of the three songs from the "As the Shadows Rise" EP (Tracks 11 &
12).
Best of/Compilation, Candlelight Records
January 27th, 2003

Dead Babies

An article I read on www.metalreviews.com.
Full article: http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/24513

Art major Aliza Shvarts '08 wants to make a statement.

Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.

The goal in creating the art exhibition, Shvarts said, was to spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body. But her project has already provoked more than just debate, inciting, for instance, outcry at a forum for fellow senior art majors held last week. And when told about Shvarts' project, students on both ends of the abortion debate have expressed shock . saying the project does everything from violate moral code to trivialize abortion.

But Shvarts insists her concept was not designed for "shock value."

"I hope it inspires some sort of discourse," Shvarts said. "Sure, some people will be upset with the message and will not agree with it, but it's not the intention of the piece to scandalize anyone."

The "fabricators," or donors, of the sperm were not paid for their services, but Shvarts required them to periodically take tests for sexually transmitted diseases. She said she was not concerned about any medical effects the forced miscarriages may have had on her body. The abortifacient drugs she took were legal and herbal, she said, and she did not feel the need to consult a doctor about her repeated miscarriages.

Shvarts declined to specify the number of sperm donors she used, as well as the number of times she inseminated herself.

Art major Juan Castillo '08 said that although he was intrigued by the creativity and beauty of her senior project, not everyone was as thrilled as he was by the concept and the means by which she attained the result.

"I really loved the idea of this project, but a lot other people didn't," Castillo said. "I think that most people were very resistant to thinking about what the project was really about. [The senior-art-project forum] stopped being a conversation on the work itself."

Although Shvarts said she does not remember the class being quite as hostile as Castillo described, she said she believes it is the nature of her piece to "provoke inquiry."

"I believe strongly that art should be a medium for politics and ideologies, not just a commodity," Shvarts said. "I think that I'm creating a project that lives up to the standard of what art is supposed to be."

The display of Schvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Schvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Schvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.

Schvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.

School of Art lecturer Pia Lindman, Schvarts' senior-project advisor, could not be reached for comment Wednesday night.

Few people outside of Yale's undergraduate art department have heard about Shvarts' exhibition. Members of two campus abortion-activist groups . Choose Life at Yale, a pro-life group, and the Reproductive Rights Action League of Yale, a pro-choice group . said they were not previously aware of Schvarts' project.

Alice Buttrick '10, an officer of RALY, said the group was in no way involved with the art exhibition and had no official opinion on the matter.

Sara Rahman '09 said, in her opinion, Shvarts is abusing her constitutional right to do what she chooses with her body.

"[Shvarts' exhibit] turns what is a serious decision for women into an absurdism," Rahman said. "It discounts the gravity of the situation that is abortion."

CLAY member Jonathan Serrato '09 said he does not think CLAY has an official response to Schvarts' exhibition. But personally, Serrato said he found the concept of the senior art project "surprising" and unethical.

"I feel that she's manipulating life for the benefit of her art, and I definitely don't support it," Serrato said. "I think it's morally wrong."

Shvarts emphasized that she is not ashamed of her exhibition, and she has become increasingly comfortable discussing her miscarriage experiences with her peers.

"It was a private and personal endeavor, but also a transparent one for the most part," Shvarts said. "This isn't something I've been hiding."

The official reception for the Undergraduate Senior Art Show will be from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on April 25. The exhibition will be on public display from April 22 to May 1. The art exhibition is set to premiere alongside the projects of other art seniors this Tuesday, April 22 at the gallery of Holcombe T. Green Jr. Hall on Chapel Street.

How would you consider this? Is it pushing the boundaries of art, or a plain lame act of seeking attention?

On the former
Art has always been known for creating controversies, often using elements like the human body, nature, religion etc to convey their messages. Of course art mediates in many forms like paintings, music, film etc and over the years more and more controversies have emerged thanks to the creative minds of the artists. Ethical boundaries have been pushed and stretched wide like an elastic band that seems to have infinite elasticity. But is it really infinite? To those who appreciate art as a form of expression and creativity this doesn't seem a problem at all. It's something no one has ever tried before and I'm sure there are people who are eagerly looking forward to the end product.

I understand the need (if it is actually one in the first place) to take things to greater heights, but I firmly believe there should be a limit to it. I consider this a form of mockery to nature. The human body was built to operate naturally without any 'external' intervention. Abortion is a heinous act against nature and law. Of course there are situations where an abortion is needed when the health of the mother is in jeopardy or the fetus is bound to be a disfigured/disabled child. These are the only two reasons for me to condone abortion, the rest is horse-shit. You're not ready to have a kid-you should have used a rubber. Your girlfriend is pregnant-you should have used a rubber. You can't afford another child-you should have used a rubber, it's only RM 12 for a pack of threes. Your mistake isn't the (should have been) child's to bear. And now making an art out of dead babies is officially the sickest thing to date since Mawi's win on Akademi Fantasia.

Apart from the argument over ethics on this issue, this lady clearly doesn't see the future consequences on her health. Aborting by the use of medications which is purely chemical spells a rotten womb in the near future.

On the latter

She obviously is trying to get famous the easy way since she probably doesn't possess any artistic talent AT ALL. The world has revolved around materialism since the start and it is just human to achieve it in ANY possible way. From singing off key on American Idol to prostituting one's self, just to gain a little recognition. And with that recognition comes the influx of green notes into your bank account, Swiss if you're big.

To me what this lady is doing is purely an abomination, be it for artistic values or attention. I hope she continues her work and I wish her the best in bleeding to death.

Accidentally a father

With our second gig just around the corner, all of us are trying hard to make it an impressive one. Each of us are spending hours on our own practicing before we head for our final rehearsal this Friday.

That aside, I received some good news from Jai regarding Blood Legion which I'll mention it till it's all confirmed. Dave, our manager, has proven that he's not a mere skinny mal-nutritioned banker/band manager with all the wizardry he just performed. Like I said, tell you guys about it later. Anyway Dave has put a lot in the making of our band, not just financially, but moral and liquid support as well (bunch of Indians, you think milk is all we drink?). And the rest of us owe it to him big time, honestly. And so today during a conversation with Jai he mentioned that he hopes that we all pull this (the band) through for a long time. No back-outs midway whatsoever.

I assured Jai that nothing of that sort is gonna happen.Period. Unless one of us happens to become a father accidentally and is driven broke by the impending expenditure of raising a kid. Somehow, everyone is looking my way....WHY?