Choices and Sacrifices

Life hasn't been treating me very well in recent weeks. It's not that I've been ridden with bad luck, but the fact that it involved one of the most important aspect of any ordinary person's life: Decision making.

And what leads to one coming to a point where he or she needs to make a decision? Choices. What really makes the decision process a really difficult or near impossible one is when the choices are too good to be true, often having catches here and there. And these catches needs the decision maker to make certain sacrifices in order to complement the decision. It's either you make the choice and lose a few things you love or the exact opposite, keep the few things you love and lose the choice. The bitter truth is, when you decide to lose either the love or choice, there's no turning back because opportunities only come once.

I've been facing some problems at work which has left me financially stricken and on the verge of a mental breakdown. The only way out is to get another job. I've landed many interviews and the big one was with The Malay Mail. A friend of mine recommended me to one of the editors and I was scheduled for an interview.

The Malay Mail. THE MALAY MAIL. Gosh! Now that's huge. I met the editor and chief editor, did a small test where I had to write an article on the betting phenomenon that has struck the Anwar sodomy case. Betting? I know nothing of the betting taking place involving this case! So I got to my usual self which is to bullshit my way through 8 paragraphs and surprisingly they enjoyed it. I drew a sigh of relief cos I actually expected the editor to throw his shoe at me instead of a compliment. The Editor In-Chief told me that there weren't any positions for writers at the moment but he would try to open up one for me. This is of course I met them thanks to a recommendation of a close friend of theirs.

I was excited at first, but as days turned to weeks, the excitement thinned to become something more of a worry. The Malay Mail as we know them, are an afternoon paper. They start operations in the afternoons and only end late at night. I was alright with all that. We had to work in shifts, I was fine with that also.

The Malay Mail was a good escape plan for me. But I knew I wouldn't like the job. Deep inside I knew something wasn't right. Something told me that if you take it, I'll have to give up something really dear. Something I helped build from scratch. BLOOD LEGION.

At the moment we're finding it hard to meet up and jam and a shift schedule would just add to further inactivity and I don't want the worst to happen, throwing in the towel. All of us agreed if we start this, we're not gonna end it, at least till one of us is dead.

So the time for me to make one of the most important decisions arrived, and I chose to stick with the band and turn Malay Mail down. It was a hard task to accomplish, especially telling the editors of my decision. It wasn't pretty in all. Had a few shellings here and there, but I'm cool.

Turning down the Mail offer was not merely a choice but I look at it as a sacrifice. Sacrificing a chance to be a part of one of the biggest, most controversial papers in the country, which many would regard as a respected achievement, only to be in the company of 3 other fellow brothers to continue something that has already started. Call me silly or whatever, but the band is one of the biggest priority to me. We may not be making any money or fame out of it, but it still keeps us going. Metal is more than music to us, it has become our faith. Something we believe in, something we'll defend till the end.